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Watching love as it ages

A school friend and I were discussing about the point (rather pointlessness) of life and we concluded that it is gene propagation; food and sex are just means to it. Sex is very primal and over the years, we as a society have started making random associations with it such as love, etc. So, love is a man-made concept and like all man-made concepts, it’s quite subjective, fluid and hard to define. Thanks to literature, and now media, we have a nice little template to go with. If you are 16 (or probably younger today), love is that feeling which Read more…

What kind of fighter am I

The best part about Marriage Broker Auntie for me is the stories I have the privilege to listen to, personal thoughts that I am privy to, and sometimes, if I am lucky, I get to stir up a poet in some hopeless romantic. This one is called “What kind of a fighter am I”, which was written by someone in response to me saying that fighting is an inevitable part of every relationship and so, it’s important to be aware of what kind of fighters we are. I read it, and I loved it. It’s simple, yet says so much Read more…

The generation that wants it all!

Today, the thirty somethings in India are really struggling to find life partners like never before. When I say like never before, I mean these are people you would have expected to be already married by now, but not anymore. Some 8-9 years ago, on Varamahalakshmi festival, our family priest, who also doubles up as a matchmaker, had come home to perform the ritual. He mentioned that one of my dad’s younger colleagues had approached him for matchmaking help. When my dad asked the priest about this colleague’s prospects of finding a bride, this is what the priest said – Read more…

Fail if you have to, but fail fast

No, this is not gyaan about start ups. Although there is a lot to learn from them. Last evening, quite unexpectedly, I got a call from a very good friend back home, who I had also worked with through Marriage Broker Auntie in it’s previous avatar. He told me he was getting married in two weeks. I love it when people reach out to me and share the news of them getting married even if I hadn’t really been able to successfully set them with their chosen partner, because Marriage Broker Auntie is that person who you can always count Read more…

Relationships and their expiry dates

If you’ve gone grocery shopping to a super market, you’ll know that the fresher stock (with later expiry dates) is always stocked up behind the older stuff because supermarkets like to follow FIFO (first in first out). However, what they probably don’t realise is that there are people like me who know this and they will end up with LIFO (last in first out) instead. Someone like my husband would think why bother making the effort of sorting through the stock as long as they are all within the expiry date – what’s the big difference anyway? It makes a Read more…

Exclusivity and taking joy out of love

Woke up this morning to some happy news. A close friend who’s been single for a very long time, sent me a text saying he and this girl he’d been meeting on and off over the last several months decided to be exclusive. While I was overjoyed, I also thought it was a funny way of saying it. Maybe because I fell in love in another era where people would say I love you instead. Do we now assume that people are in an open relationship by default, that there is a need to explicitly clarify? There have always been Read more…

Emotional dependence and why we remain unmarried

Marriage is a (wo)man-made institution to legalise two people choosing to live together as romantic partners, engaging in procreation and so on. But at a very carnal level, there is no need for it and we can very well do away with it. So, if any one of you believes that you “have” to get married for your parents’ sake, we have a problem because you’ve probably surrendered to the society much more than you should have (Okay, that’s a judgement alright). While we know our parents would love to see us married and “settled” (an unattainable state of stability that parents dream Read more…

Can infidelity be nourishing?

That’s an absurd title you’d think? But we understand very little of infidelity to be sure we don’t encounter it in our own lives and if it hasn’t happened to us, we usually hold the right to judge. The way we traditionally understand infidelity is when someone gets physically intimate with another individual of the opposite gender, who is other than their partner. Now there are several levels even within this age old definition of infidelity – one kiss, several kisses, one night stand, many night stands and so on. It can be argued based on convenience that one is less Read more…

Closures

Have you had an ugly break up, left feeling stranded with a billion unanswered question and wanting just one cordial meeting with your ex to get some sort of a closure so you can move on? Have you drifted apart from a best friend without knowing why and wish you could talk just once to know what ever happened? While it seems naive to think that one meeting would set right everything that went wrong over time, it atleast acts as an alibi for us to let go and move on. It’s our way of having checked these people off our lists so Read more…

Are you prone to being ‘Kajol’ed?

One of my friends met a girl on Coffee meets Bagel, who he later went out on a date with. He saw her as a potential romantic partner and so asked her out on a follow up date. She being the classic 30 something living independently, waiting for her parents to find her a prince charming, didn’t blow him off immediately. Instead, she decided to hook him onto the back of her truck and drag him along slowly on a bumpy road, just in case she doesn’t find anyone else. And of course, our man hangs on in hope, even though Read more…