Trusting matrimonial apps
Matrimonial websites are social discovery platforms i.e. they provide you with the opportunity of discovering who else is single within communities of your interest, speaking certain languages and living in specific locations. They rely heavily on people uploading their own information to create profiles in order to scale, and have millions of people on the platform.
They do not verify every single profile manually and carry out thorough investigation to ascertain word to word if the profile is 100% authentic. It is practically impossible. However, they do have processes in place to broadly avoid obviously faking profiles, which over the years, people have learnt to game especially if they want to make fake/ fraud profiles. It is unfortunate, but this also means we must exercise our own caution while selecting prospects.
Some basic checks you can do from your end to ensure basic first level filtering are as follows:
– The person must be google-able. What this means is you must have access to their full name, location, educational background and professional background to verify that this is a “real” person. I know that not everyone is on the internet, and this isn’t a good enough check for people in smaller towns. But remember that if someone is save enough to sign up on a matrimonial site, they’re likely to have some other presence on the internet.
-Ensure the photos on matrimonial platforms match with the ones you see elsewhere.
-Ensure that you are comfortable with the information you see on the profile, including contact details, and that you are happy to initiate contact before you actually do so. If something seems odd, or sounds too good to be true, it probably isn’t true. Trust your instincts, even if it means letting go off a “great profile”.
-A lot of people hide basic things like name, photos, etc. and they are only visible on accept or only to premium members. Those profiles are best avoided because it doesn’t help build trust to start with. People may have their own reservations about going public with wanting to get married either because of privacy issues or sometimes even shame, but it is their issue to deal with, not yours.
-Based on the information you have from your match, you can enquire about them either in the office they work/ colleges they went to/ common friends, if any. These things are pretty easily verifiable, and you absolutely must do this before proceeding further.
-Once you make initial contact, remember that it is now on you to try and find out everything that is important to you about the person you wish to be married. Remember to focus on personality/ behaviour related aspects that tend to be constant over time as opposed to things that can change over time.
-If you want to meet them, it is best to do so only when you feel absolutely safe and sure about them before you do so. When you do meet them, always meet them in a crowded place with lots of people around if there is even an inkling of doubt in your mind.
-Lastly, remember that you’ll never find out EVERYTHING about anyone before you get married, even if it is a love marriage. Circumstances change, people change, and even you might change, and your tolerance for things might vary. So, this is something you must expect, in order to begin the right mindset to grapple with.
Having said all this, these platforms largely contain mostly genuine profiles. But if you’re not careful enough, you may encounter the small percentage of profiles that don’t have the best interest. But hopefully, with the above tips, you are able to navigate these platforms more cautiously.