Well-settled grooms

Published by Priyanka on

Traditionally, men were the sole breadwinners of the family, so in order to qualify for a good wife, men had to have a good job. Today, men and women are both employed, and being employed is no longer enough of a qualification to find one-self a good wife. We want much more from men, and rightly so, especially when the woman is able to contribute much more to the marriage than managing the household or raising children.

However, thanks to social conditioning, being “well-settled” is a necessary condition for grooms, although by no means sufficient. So, I was asked by someone on Quora what people mean when they say they want a well-settled groom. Here, I am going to elaborate on a range of commentary I’ve heard on what makes a groom well-settled, at least in the context of arranged marriages.

Disclaimer: Well-settled can mean a range of things, and it is different for people, including the following:

-Is employed with a well known organisation (Govt, MNC, etc.)

-Is in a role on par (seniority, etc.) with his peers of a similar age group

-Salaried with an income on par with or above the cost of living expenses in the city that the guy is settled in. This is including the additional expenses that come with being married, even if your partner is earning

-If your partner isn’t earning or is earning less than sufficient to sustain herself, the guy’s income must be able to accommodate an additional member in the family. This is assuming that the guy is okay with his partner not working/ bringing in equal income

-Is debt-free, has assets (house/ savings) and isn’t a reckless spender

-Salaried with an income on par with the girl’s income, if not more/ that you’re secure enough with your partner earning more

-Passionate about one’s career and is invested in doing well for himself professionally and financially

-Has clear goals for his future, and is working towards it, even if his current income isn’t very promising

-If the guy is an entrepreneur, then things like health of the company may matter – funding level, whether the company is doing well, etc. But I’ve heard that the bar is much higher for entrepreneurs unless the girl also comes from a business family, and she/ her family understands the cyclical nature of businesses

Having said this, until and unless you’ve clarified this with the person who has written this on their profile, it is hard to be 100% sure about what they mean by “well-settled” and it’s open to interpretation.

This post was originally published on Quora when someone asked me what people mean when they say they want a well-settled groom.