Eons ago, I was out clubbing with some friends and I saw this boy, who was swaying to some metal, with his eyes closed. He was carelessly holding a beer bottle in one hand, and carried this non-challance that was so attractive. That was his signal (besides the fact that he had a fancy degree from a fancy school, which I already knew about). Unfortunately, given how online the world is and how little opportunity most of us have at emitting such “signals”, we have to make do with an attractive “profile”, because that’s the only signal you can emit these days. It’s pretty your only shot at getting anyone’s attention at all, online. Depending on what app/ site you are on, you could either be a “naughty boy” or “boy with no habits”. But deep down, who are you, really? Do you know who you are as a partner, in a relationship? Do you know what type of a partner really suits you? How do you leverage your matrimonial profile to attract the right partner? I have a few tips here to help write up a simple matrimonial profile that can help build a meaningful relationship: Step 1: What matters to you about you? Even before you get to the “I want a liberal but homely girl or a boy with MS from US” type of wishlist, make a list of all the things that matter to you about you. Whether you care about being in the market or not, do this little exercise the moment you get the slightest clue that you’ve been put in the market by parents, grandparents or random aunty on your street. Make a list of top 10 things someone who’ll live with you must be aware of about you. For instance, a list could look like this:
- I have to start my morning with a peaceful cup of coffee
- I love my family, which means sometimes I will do things I hate, just for their sake
- I like to discuss all disagreements till finish, and don’t like to leave things hanging
- I watch absolute trash on TV, and I love it, so I won’t stand any judgements on that
- I am a cleanliness freak, bordering on OCD which means I will assassinate anyone who messes with my order at home…
- Make a list of top 3 things that you absolutely cannot compromise on in a partner. For each of these, justify it with why it is so important. Again, check whether this matters now, or will matter forever. Through this process, you will figure out if something is a frivolous wish or truly important to you.
- Next, make a list of the things you will absolutely not tolerate from the other person – it could be anger, dishonesty, lack of interest in learning, etc. and justify this with reasons for not wanting to put up with.