The biggest problem with the arranged marriage process is that it is an excruciatingly long process, especially if you aren’t lucky. You have to meet so many people before you start to see some hope. Now, the number of people you see is not something you can significantly influence, although the duration you see them is definitely under your control. You can cut your losses and move on pretty quickly if you can spot the following quickly:
1. Not making the effort to initiate a meeting
People who dilly dally on meeting you knowing fairly well that things are not going to move up a notch without a face to face meeting, are just not worth anyone’s time. If this is a cross country alliance, I’d cut them some slack, but if they aren’t even making the effort to move things up to a FaceTime/ WhatsApp video call, forget about it. Don’t take being shy or introverted for an answer, this is the guy who hopes to get into your pants the rest of your life, so he can save his shyness for the first night.
2. Endless getting to know you conversations/ meets
Beware of the ones who texts you every Friday night with the endless getting to know you better type questions such as your favourite movie and cuisine and such nonsense. They might as well send you a slam book and have you write a parting note once you have answered all the pointless questions on them. I have been with my husband for almost 10 years now and I honestly don’t care what his favourite colour or restaurant is. We are just fine trying to discover new things about each other even today. You will never know everything about anyone even if you lived a 100 years with them, and so talk about the stuff that matters when you meet once or twice, take a leap of faith and jump. If it doesn’t work, there’s always annulment or divorce, really.
3. The WhatsApp forward sender
No, WhatsApp forwards are never a way to initiate a conversation. For pete’s sake, this is 2019. If someone wants to talk to you, they can send you a sensible message, even if it’s just to say “Hey”. Actually no, save the “hey”s for after marriage, because conversations between couples are mostly boring, so at least until you become a couple, try and keep things spicy. So, if someone’s sending you a Hey, they are out too, unless of course its a “Hey you ..” which is a whole different level. Wink wink.
4. I need more time
Unless you are weighing multiple options, more time never helps with such decisions. They only make an incremental difference and if you are after that, sure, give it more time. If you hear anyone giving the I need more time, move on. Now, I do know people who are married after one of them gave this shady excuse but mostly the other person bugged them till they caved. Unless you are confident of bugging someone successfully, just cut your losses and move on.
Now, I am sure the list could go on, but these 4 filters should help you sieve through most of the weed in the market. If this doesn’t work, I am always around at — www.marriagebrokerauntie.com.