I am in the business of promising people that I would make them more marriage-ready through one-on-one coaching. While I try my best to keep up my end of the deal, there are some things in the world I cannot influence – supply of soulmates. Even if you are more marriageable at the end of three months, what if you never meet anyone you like? There’s a self selection in my clientele – people who are less inclined to settle, reach out to me for help and so convincing them to settle would seem like a measure of success. But should I?

The longer you are in the market, the more jaded you become. The strange thing though is that you end up lowering your bar while becoming more picky, so essentially you are stuck in this paradox unable to make a decision. When you find yourself in such a situation, you have got to start asking yourself what if you never find a partner and if you don’t have a good enough answer for that, I’d say your chances of finding a partner at all are slimmer than you think it was.

So, there is good single and bad single. Good single is when you are single and loving it because your life is so exciting and full of things to look forward to. Bad single is when you are single because you can’t get yourself to un-single – when all your energy is really just invested in finding yourself a partner. We live by this social checklist where we believe our twenties must be diligently dedicated to sourcing ourselves a partner without paying any heed to much else, in the process becoming very boring. This happens very slyly and we don’t even realise till its really late. 

Instead, if we spent our energies in just living – making our lives more interesting by pursuing our passions, we would be much more appealing and attract a far superior set of potential partners. This way, we won’t have to lower our bar while being picky. More importantly, our lives will be too awesome to be wasted looking for someone else to complete it. So, whether you are fresh or well into the market, ask yourself “what if” because its the only way you’ll manage to get someone better than you think you deserve!