I am in the business of making people more marriage-ready (provided that they want to be) through one-on-one coaching. While I try my best to keep up my end of the deal, there are some things in the world that I cannot influence – supply of soulmates. Even if you are more marriageable at the end of three months, what if you never meet anyone you like? There’s a self selection in my clientele – people who are less inclined to settle, reach out to me for help and so convincing them to settle would seem like a measure of success. But should I?
The longer you are in the market, the more jaded you become. The strange thing though is that you end up lowering your bar while becoming more picky, so essentially you are stuck in this paradox unable to make a decision. When you find yourself in such a situation, you’ve got to start asking yourself what if you never find a partner? If you don’t have a good enough answer for this, I’d say your chances of finding a partner are slimmer than you think it was.
So, there is good single and bad single. Good single is when you are single and loving it because your life is so exciting and full of things to look forward to. Bad single is when you are single because you can’t get yourself to un-single – when all your energy is really just invested in finding yourself a partner. We live by this social checklist where we believe our twenties must be diligently dedicated to sourcing ourselves a partner without prioritising much else, in the process becoming very boring. This happens very slyly and we don’t even realise till its really late.
Instead, if we spent our energies in just living – making our lives more interesting by pursuing our passions, we would be much more appealing and attract a far superior set of potential partners. This way, we won’t have to lower our bar while being picky. More importantly, our lives will be too awesome to be wasted looking for someone else to complete it.
Whether you are new or old in the market, ask yourself “what if” because it’s the only way you’ll find someone better than you think you deserve!