The second date and beyond
The reason Marriage Broker Auntie pivoted from actively matchmaking to matrimonial advisory is because every introduction is driven by pure instinct which is a result of several years of being in business but quite often, people aren’t ready to make the most out of these opportunities. As a result, it is very easy for clients to believe that I didn’t find them the right match and dismiss my value.
Today’s generation has grown up on swiping relentlessly and actually believes that their possibilities are infinite, which is far from the bitter truth (more about this in another blogpost). If not sheer luck, it takes a lot of effort to even get to the first date, let alone finding that perfect mate. So I focus on helping people put in well directed effort to making it to the first date, and beyond.
One such couple I worked with recently just took things to the next level by getting engaged, to be married in May next year. Ajith and Sneha are two very nice people who had been in the market for a couple of years when they signed up with the Auntie. Like most Kannada/ Telugu Brahmins in Bangalore, they had dutifully signed up with the famous “Aseema” in Malleswaram (read more about it here) but hadn’t had much luck so far (what a shocker!).
Ajith is my cousin-in-law Smitha’s (my main ally in this alliance) cousin. He is a friendly, level headed guy who appreciates good humour and comes from a family of 19 cousins. Sneha happens to be my junior from undergrad and when I first spoke to her, she seemed to open up very little and I found it hard to decode her temperament. I insisted that Sneha and I chat on video so I could read her expressions at least. She seemed like a witty, enthu-cutlet trapped inside a shy soft spoken girl.
Since I had known Ajith for a while, he came home and we chatted about several things such as college, work, his experience in the market, etc. and at that point, Sneha was just one of the girls I considered introducing him to. I wasn’t sure if it would work but I had to give it my best. After some thought, I curated a date that was to start on a badminton court (our man Ajith is a state level badminton player and this way, he could play a home game and be impressive) followed by a chat over chaat (which would give our girl Sneha a chance to kill it with her wit).
And as expected, this worked well for both of them because when you surprise people by putting them in new environments, their energies are invested in making themselves comfortable rather than judging others allowing for a stress free date. I am immensely thankful to both Sneha and Ajith for trusting me and being cool enough to give my date idea a shot. If not for them, I would never be sure that with some effort, you could game luck into making it to the second date.
While I stayed with them through every date (figuratively only) until they had decided to take things to the next level, tell their parents, etc., I am only going to take credit for them making it to the second date because the rest is just the universe doing its magic.
Signing off by wishing this beautiful couple the best in the years to come!