For nearly a decade now, I have watched my parents and their generation worry about ours and the subsequent generations. They have trouble coming to terms with how quickly we’re growing up, and how much the society is evolving – dating, break-ups and everything that goes under the banner of westernisation and “ultra modernity”. Sometimes, it makes me wonder if indeed there is a need for us to slow down, especially as I see the innocence fade off the faces of kids around me,
In the last couple of years, I’ve been meeting many people who are recovering from broken marriages and trying to re-enter the arranged marriage market. Not surprisingly, women are less confident compared to men in similar situations about finding someone. They recognise that the world has labelled them as “women who could not compromise enough to sustain a relationship” because that’s what women are expected to do – act as airbags whenever there’s a crash in the marriage. What use is an airbag if it didn’t sustain a crash?
So, these women look for men who can empathise with them. I have met wonderful women who for a whole range of reasons could not be a part of their marriages anymore and had the courage to opt out and gather themselves to start afresh. But unfortunately, our society doesn’t look at them with awe or pride. It is quite strange.
Women who’ve been in and out of relationships are showered with more mercy compared to women who’ve been in and out of marriages because we close our eyes to relationships as if they never exist. As our society is becoming more “modern”, more and more women are getting in and out of relationships and in every iteration, they have a chance to learn and evolve.
Unfortunately, the ones from the previous generation remain stuck in their marriages even if they want to get out because if they ever did, there’s seldom a chance for them to learn or evolve. For a chance to learn and evolve as a human race, I’d rather have the world lose its innocence than lose its entire youth stuck in a bad marriage.