Is losing innocence such a bad thing after all?

For nearly a decade now, I watched my parents and their generation worry about ours and the subsequent. They could barely come to terms with how quickly we were  growing up – girls and guys getting together, the quick turn around of relationships and all the other things frowned upon as an effect of modernity and westernisation. In fact, I began to believe that it was a bad thing and felt the need to turn the wheel around, slow it down, etc as I watched the innocence fade off the faces of kids around me. I wanted Barbie to be curious about all my social secrets. I wanted her to never grow beyond clinging on to me like my personal little baby monkey until I learnt something life changing.

I have been listening to people tell me their stories of love, marriages and the need to find a companion for life. In the last couple of years, it pains me to come across so many people recovering from broken marriages and trying to re-enter the arranged marriage market only to realise that their only hope is people who share their experiences. I have met wonderful women who for a whole range of reasons could not be a part of their marriages anymore and had the courage to opt out and gather themselves to start afresh. Not surprisingly, women are less confident compared to men in similar situations about finding someone as they recognise that the world has labelled them as “women who could not compromise enough to sustain a relationship” because that’s what women are expected to do – act as airbags whenever there’s a crash in the marriage. What use is an airbag if it didn’t sustain a crash?

My society is quite strange because women who’ve been in and out of relationships are showered with more mercy compared to women who’ve been in and out of marriages because we close our eyes to relationships as if they never exist. As our society is becoming more “modern”, more and more women are getting in and out of relationships and in every iteration, they’ve a chance to learn and evolve while the ones in the previous generation stay stuck in their marriages for years without being able to get out of it even if they want to because if they ever did, there’s seldom a chance for them to learn or evolve. For a chance to learn and evolve as a human race, I’d rather have the world lose its innocence than lose its entire youth stuck in a bad marriage!!

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