The New Age Social Epidemic
Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Then you probably know that break-ups with no real closure is what makes most break-ups ugly. You’re neither in them nor over them. This usually happens when one person dumps the other but the whole break-up ‘appears’ to be based on mutual consent. When a relationship withers away for no apparent reasons, it leaves you with a lot of unanswered questions, taking away any will to reconcile.
The truth is – we don’t know how to deal with rejection, especially when it’s subtle. When we’re invested so heavily in a relationship, the least we expect is a chance to know why the relationship ended. Having this question answered leaves the relationship in a state of trishanku (neither there nor here).
I watch people, I try to understand the irrationality that drives their decisions and I know exactly why they rejected the people I set them up with. But often, people concoct stupid reasons to rationalise their decisions. Sometimes, I wish people were more honest, at least to themselves. It’s fine if you’ve been an explorer and you’ve been around quite a bit in life, but why lug your baggage around? It’s not fair to people who haven’t been around or have taken pains to deal with their baggage before entering the market.
When people reject prospects for no apparent reason, I know exactly why – you’re either better off at Vanaja Quick Marriages or you’re still hung up on your ex. In this case, you’re never going to be able to give me appropriate feedback that will help me get better at what I do. The single most common reason why most matches have failed in the last couple of months is that a lot of people enter the arranged marriage market with heavy baggage, and they can’t seem to acknowledge that.
If there are so many people constantly convincing themselves that they’re sailing forward even before pulling the anchor up, are relationships with no real closure the new age social epidemic?