If you’ve ever been in a serious relationship, you’d know that break-ups with no real closure is what makes most break-ups ugly – you’re neither in them nor over them. This usually happens when one party ditches the other and the whole break-up ‘appears’ to be based on mutual consent. It sometimes reminds me of the several friendships that have withered away in my life over time for no apparent reason, leaving my friends and me with several unanswered questions, taking away all will to reconcile. We are mere mortals – we don’t know how to deal with rejection, especially when it’s subtle. When we’ve invested so heavily in a relationship, the least we expect is a chance to have all our questions answered. It’s these unanswered questions that leave most relationships in a trishanku (neither there nor here) state.
I watch people, I perceive the irrationality that entwines their decisions and I know exactly why they rejected people I set them set you up with, but as a match-maker who truly cares about spreading love and fostering happy relationships/ friendships, I wish people were more honest, at least to themselves. I’m fine if you’re an explorer and been around quite a bit, but just don’t bring back luggage because this is like being on a cheap flight (easy to find relationships) where you will be charged for additional baggage (since these relationships come with low tolerance limits). While on one hand, it’s not fair for people who haven’t been around or have taken pains to sort their baggage before entering the market, it’s just really too much for me as a matchmaker, to deal with (come on, I’m already dealing with frivolous people who fancy eye candies).
When people reject my matches for no apparent reason, I know exactly why – you’re either better off at Vanaja Quick Marriages or you’re still hung up on your ex, in which case, you’re never going to be able to give me appropriate feedback that will help me get better at what I do. This has driven the Mad Aunties in me further Mad. The single most common reason why most matches have failed in the last couple of months is that a lot of people enter the arranged marriage market with heavy baggage.
If there are so many people who are constantly convincing themselves that they’re sailing forward even before pulling up the anchor, are Relationships with no Real Closure – the New Age Social Epidemic?